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13 super easy ways to make your life a little simpler

A year or so ago I watched the ‘Minimalism‘ documentary. And from that point on I have become increasingly more aware of my consumption habits. To be honest, after watching the film I felt terribly ashamed and embarrassed about the way I had been carelessly allowing clutter to fill up my home and life.

I was in this continuous cycle of purchasing and discarding. Searching for newer and better things to replace the perfectly good items I already owned.

It is really easy to make shopping into a sport. A social activity. An outlet for stress. A way of taking control.

But it is that mindset which left my bookshelves overflowing, my closet heaving and myself still feeling empty.

A part of me wished I could do it better. If only I could make my life a little simpler. I wished I could find contentment with what I already had.

Then I came across another documentary, “Before the Flood.” In which Leonardo DiCaprio urges us to become aware of the impact we are having on the planet and to take action to prevent further harm.

With any emotive film, book or TV series, I am quick to jump on board their crusade. I want to do my bit. I want to take charge of my destiny. I want to feel like I have a teensy tiny bit of control or a say in how these things pan out.

So I felt the crushing weight of responsibility for my actions. I recognised my bad habits were impacting more than just myself but also the planet I called home and I couldn’t just sit back and do nothing about it.

I am not one who subscribes to the ‘this job is too big for me so I won’t do anything at all’ philosophy. No way. If I can make a change, no matter how small, you bet I will.

So first of all I got thinking about what is most important to me. These things would be the focus for my simple living goals, the hooks I would prop my coat on.

The things I value:

People. The relationships I have in my own life but also the indirect ones I am a part of as a consumer.

I wanted to be more intentional about who I spent time with, who I bought products from and who I followed on social media.

The planet. I love nature and being outdoors. I love that the country I live in is so beautiful and that we have the opportunity to appreciate forests, lakes and mountains that people travel from all around the world to see.

I wanted to be mindful of the products I purchased and the way they were processed so that I could help prevent further damage to our precious planet.

My health. I have spent a long time fighting against my body and I finally am in a place where I appreciate it for all of the marvelous ways it enables me to live.

I wanted to do more of what makes me feel good. I wanted to take care of myself so that I could live life to the fullest.

With those things in mind I decided I needed to take action and make some changes. Thus my new philosophy for life was formed.

My simple living philosophy…

“To be intentional about the way I live in order to minimise my impact on the planet and others. To sacrifice convenience for the benefit of quality time, compassion and overall well-being. To live in a way that makes me so excited about the now that I forget about the not yet.”

Making tiny changes to my lifestyle has had a huge impact on the way I feel. I believe that when we live authentically, in a way that remains true to our core beliefs, we can stop fighting ourselves and find contentment.

So these are a few super easy things I have done to incorporate my simple living philosophy into my everyday life. Perhaps these are things you might like to try also…

How to make your life a little bit simpler:

Start composting-

I just started gathering food scraps and heaping them in a pile in our backyard. Then I would take that compost and return the nutrients to the soil in my garden. From nature to nature.

A lot of people think that food will decompose in the landfill but that isn’t actually true. Food scraps are trapped among the rubbish and unable to get enough oxygen to biodegrade.

Buy sustainable beauty products-

I’ve been working on buying products without palm oil and that come in recyclable packaging. I already have a strong appreciation for bar soap and I am keen to try out solid shampoo and conditioner bars.

Unfollow people who make you feel icky-

Stop comparing yourself to others. Only follow people who uplift you, inspire you or bring you joy.

Eat less meat-

The agricultural industry is a huge contributor to global pollution and there is some speculation as to whether we should be eating as much animal protein as we currently do. I’m trying to include at least one vegetarian meal per week and when I do eat meat, I want it to be better quality.

Try growing your own vegetables-

I started this in order to better appreciate the effort required to get food onto my plate. I also wanted to become reacquainted with the lost art of preparing all elements of a meal by hand.

Buy secondhand first-

I absolutely love a bargain. But I also love that shopping secondhand first means less waste is created. We simply use what already exists.

Spend less time online-

Find joy in being present wherever you are. Take less photos and spend more time actually enjoying the moment.

Buy quality products-

If I do purchase something new then I usually will spend a little more in order to get something of better quality. Because in the long run, quality products tend to last longer.

Reduce your plastic use-

The amount of plastic we produce is insane. Especially for products that get used once and then thrown away. So anything that can be used in place of plastic and reused is brilliant.

De-clutter your physical spaces-

Clear out your closet, your pantry or the backseat of your car. Make space so that you can actually breathe. This means you will also know what you have/what you need and can avoid over purchasing.

Be intentional with relationships-

Put down your phone when you are with someone. Make time to see old friends. Call or message often. Be the one who makes the first move.

Eat seasonally-

Learn what foods are in season then shop around for the best deals. Eating seasonally saves you money and means less environmental cost due to shipping from the other side of the world.

Support decent brands-

If possible, make purchases from smaller, local businesses. Support brands that do good, and care about their workers and their environmental impact.

And this is just the start of it. There are so many more things we can do to make our lives simpler and more intentional. If you want a little help getting started then check out the 7 days to mindful living challenge I released just last week.

Basically, it all comes back to awareness. Being aware of the impact, positive and negative, that you have on everyone and everything around you.

What little things do you do to make your life simpler?

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Simple living: the secret to thriving in a society obsessed with the hustle

Sometimes things only become glaringly obvious to you days, weeks or years after they should.

Like the fact that leggings under shorts is not a good look. Or swimming in an outdoor pool without sunscreen is a bad idea.

Or how draining living in a big city can be on your soul.

At first, I didn’t notice the subtle ways the latter was true for me. The nights I couldn’t sleep. The tears I would sometimes shed in the car. The clawing feeling of wanting to escape that I kept ignoring.

I thought it was just the stress of trying to find a job right out of college. Or the helpless way I kept falling in love and getting my heart broken. Or my perpetual fear of an uncertain future.

Only now I am out of the city I can see the way it utterly depleted me.

I wasn’t happy. At least not the kind of happy that stretches deep beneath the surface, that bubbles away inside of you, giving you the energy you need to keep going.

The big city and all of its ways abraded me. It felt jarring, consuming and arduous to be a part of.

Being in the city felt like everyone and everything was taken in, chewed up and spat out into the same stressed out, discontented state.

There was something within me that knew I could never be happy there and when I finally listened to that voice, I got out.

I bravely packed up and moved home. To a city, several hundred thousand people fewer. To a place I feared would bore me. To a life that seemed slow and dull but in reality was the very thing I needed most.

We live in a society that deems slow to be boring. We want things NOW. We want the biggest and the best. We want what everyone else has and more.

We live to consume. To outdo each other. To obtain more and more.

But this way of living is exhausting. The effort is futile and totally unsustainable. The ‘hustle harder’ mentality is not something we can maintain long term, eventually we just burn out.

That’s what happened to me.

I was so weary I could hardly summon the strength to get myself out of bed and go back to work.

I couldn’t face another day of squishing in between people on the train ride, running late and rushing through the crowds down the street or having to take so many coffee orders that I hardly had the time to look up and greet a person as they entered the café.

Every part of me felt suffocated by the way rushing had become the new norm.

I wanted to have space again. I wanted to walk down the street without being swept up in the current of people moving forwards. I wanted to have room and time to actually breathe.

When you are constantly busy you don’t even notice the length of your days. Weeks fly by in a matter of minutes. I was terribly afraid that if I kept this up, my whole life could flash by and I wouldn’t even have lived it.

Simple living is about slowing down and realising what’s most important in our lives.

It’s about finding peace and contentment in the here and now. Being mindful of the way we consume and being aware of others around us.

I’ve seen a drastic change in myself over the past few months. Now I am out of the city and no longer a part of the hustle.

For the first time in a long time I am actually sleeping well. My mind switches off at night instead of worrying about all the things I have/haven’t done.

I finally feel positive and excited about life again. Once again I am actually looking for the beauty in every day. I’m no longer dreading and avoiding hard work. I’m even choosing to exercise because it makes me feel good!

But all around me I see people stuck in that same trap I was. Hustling endlessly each day, wishing for the weekend and burning themselves out.

I wish I could make them see that there is more to life than this constant competition for the flashiest Instagram photos. Or the addition of more belongings which clutter our homes. Or the mindless consumption of food wrapped in plastic, completely unrecognisable from its original form.

Simple living brings everything into perspective.

I thought slowing down would leave me feeling bored and irritable but instead, learning patience and practicing gratitude has made me so much happier.

I want that for other people, I want that for you.

So I decided to create a little challenge in order to do that.

And here it is…

Each day I’ve covered a different topic such as how to use social media cautiously or eat mindfully.

I’ve gone into detail to explain the importance of mindfulness in each area of our lives and then set a challenge for each day. This way you can easily incorporate mindfulness into your daily life.

Often I find that starting is the hardest part. It can be daunting and confusing to figure out where to begin. So this challenge will hopefully make it easy for you. 7 days and 7 ways to make your life a little more simple.

I’m super excited to share this challenge with you. If you are feeling overwhelmed and burntout and you’re keen to find more peace and contentment then join me by signing up below…

I hope you’ll slow down a little today and remember what is truly important in your life. It’s not all the THINGS you own or accomplish, it’s people. PEOPLE are what matter most.

One of the biggest struggles I have faced with living simply is making time for people. It’s so easy to get caught up in getting things done that I miss out on opportunities to build relationships.

So I’m interested to know your thoughts on this…

What is the biggest challenge you face when it comes to simple living?

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In Living intentionally

Reasons for living: looking for the beauty in a messy world

I’ve been feeling haunted lately. Overwhelmed by the frequent visits of the ghosts of anxiety and depression.

I’ve unlatched the windows and left the doors wide open. I’ve welcomed them in and made them tea. We’ve curled up on the couch together and I’ve let them talk me into the same old habits.

The moping. The dreading. The hiding.

I have always liked the quote by Rumi…

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.

In this bittersweet world of heartbreak, delight, suffering and awe, finding this balance becomes a matter of survival.

I need to hold on to the sweet, the good, the lovely and the joyful. These things are like a life raft, the only barrier between me and the freezing waters below.

I must let go of the bitter, the sad, the unfair and the awful. Because holding them too long scorches my hands, blinds my sight and cripples my whole being.

It sometimes seems cruel to me that we were created with such inquisitive minds, yet left with so many unanswered and unanswerable questions.

I so often wonder why… but I am old enough to know now that there are somethings we don’t know.

Perhaps everything doesn’t happen for reason. Maybe some things just happen.

So as I’m wrestling with my confusion and trying to make sense of the mess I see around me, I have decided that I will refuse to let the darkness win. I won’t be overcome by sadness, emptiness or numbness.

Right now, I am choosing to live. I am searching for beauty in the midst of this messy world, in the middle of my messy life and here’s why I think you should too…

Reasons to live:

One.

When you hold someone you love so much that you cannot help but squeeze them tightly. Willing them to never let you go. And that precious feeling of realising that they are squeezing you right back.

Two.

Sitting outside in the summer with clear, blue skies above you. The sun warming your back and penetrating its warmth deep down into your soul.

Three.

Going to the beach and feeling the salt cling to your skin. The way it leaves your hair matted and lingers on your tongue. The sand that squishes in between your toes, gathers in your towel and spreads absolutely everywhere.

Four.

Jumping into a bed covered with freshly washed sheets. So crisp and clean you feel like royalty.

Five.

Biting into a soft dinner roll that is still warm from being in the oven. Spreading butter lavishly across the bread and watching as it sinks in beautifully.

Six.

Staying outside to watch the dusk melt a glorious sunset into the dark night sky.

Seven.

Getting dressed up to go somewhere fancy. Feeling like a million dollars.

Seven.

Watching a delicate butterfly dancing lightly on the breeze.

Eight.

That fluttery, stomach-sinking feeling of talking to someone you like very much.

Nine.

When it’s cool in the winter and you can see your breath billow around you like smoke from a dragon.

Ten.

When you share a special smile with someone that only the two of you understand.

Eleven.

That floopy feeling you get when drinking cocktails on an empty stomach.

Twelve.

Bagels that are toasted, smeared with thick layers of cream cheese and boysenberry jam.

Thirteen.

Thawing out your fingers beside the fire after braving the icy wind outside.

Fourteen.

Napping in the afternoon and waking up feeling all cozy and yummy.

Fifteen.

Finding a cafe that makes a perfect cup of coffee. Inhaling the soothing scent and buzzing when the caffeine finally wakes you up.

Sixteen.

The satisfaction of eating something you grew all by yourself in your garden.

Seventeen.

Back rubs and side hugs.

Eighteen.

Coming home after a very long day and kicking your shoes off your tired feet. Putting on comfy slippers that melt beneath each step.

Nineteen.

Watching a thunderstorm roll in. Feeling the rumble of thunder echo in your chest. That violent terror that shakes you with every bolt of lightening.

Twenty.

Being out in the middle of nowhere on a crisp night and seeing millions of stars twinkling high above you.

Twenty one.

Finding that deliciously soft spot of fur behind a dog’s ears.

Twenty two.

Toasting marshmallows over a campfire so that they blister and crisp perfectly on the outside while remaining gooey through the centre.

Twenty three.

Fresh tomatoes that carry an earthy scent. Rosy-red cheeked and sweet to eat.

Twenty four.

Kisses that almost stop time. Making you forget where and who you are for a teensy tiny second.

Twenty five.

The fresh start of a new day, a new month and a new year. A blank page full of possibilities.

And on and on I go, counting my blessings and remembering the reasons for living. Remembering all the wonderful moments sprinkled throughout the mundane in my every day.

This world is vast.

It stretches on further than our minds can grasp.

There is so much to explore, so much to experience, so much to beauty we have yet to see.

I know that the bitter is very real. Burning our throats as it goes down. Pulling the curtains and blocking the sunlight. Turning our whole world upside down.

But let us not forget the sweet. Let us not become numb to its gentle caress. It is the sweet that makes life worth living.

There are so many resolutions we could make this year. So many promises to ourselves and to others.

But for me, there is only one resolution I will be making.

To search wholeheartedly for beauty in my everyday life.

To shut the door on anxiety and depression. To seek help when I need it and give myself grace in abundance.

To refuse to cling onto the bitter but instead, to remember the sweet.

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A year in the life: the lessons I have learnt and the blog posts they inspired

I cannot believe we are already standing on the brink of a new year.

It doesn’t matter how long I have lived, I am always taken aback by the way the days, weeks and years tumble into one another and how easily I lose track of them.

In my room I have a box of journals. Some incomplete. Some impossible to read due to the padlocks I insisted on using. Some filled with nothing but drawings, doodles and childhood dreams.

This summer I want to clean out the bedroom I used as a child but I fear it will be something of a challenge.

Mostly because of that pink, sparkly box filled with my journals.

I hate getting rid of things. I hate choosing what things are important enough to keep and what things hopefully won’t be missed.

I can’t bring myself to get rid of the journals. Etched on those pages, immortalised in those words is me. Me at age 8, 13 and 16. Me growing up, finding myself and becoming who I am.

I couldn’t throw away those journals any more than I could wipe this blog off the internet. The memories are too precious. The snapshots of my life too rare.

I’m so thankful for that sparkly, pink box. I’m so thankful for this wide, open space. This blog that enables me to pour myself out, fill you up, and keep who I was at that point in time, frozen forever.

Please indulge me with this one very long, final post. These are the lessons I have learnt this year. These are the blog posts I have written. This is the person I was in 2018.

A year in the life…

January:

The month you never got to see. I was in a mad scurry to get this new blog up and running.

I was also hunting for a new flat for us to live in, going to a billion flat viewings and feeling increasingly discouraged as our options grew slim!

Thankfully, I managed to find a perfect place that absolutely exceeded all of my expectations. And we made the place our own right before the end of the month.

February:

Hello and welcome to the new blog! I launched meganhallier.com and finally had an online space that matched the dream I had inside my head.

After moving into the new flat I decided this year I absolutely HAD to get to know my neighbours. So I took them some muffins and forged new friendships.

We got ourselves a dinner invitation with one of our neighbours who unfortunately didn’t speak English. This meal sparked my first post: The gift of our diversity.

I also started a new job working at a charity store which I fell in love with immediately. I got to work with clothes every day which was a dream come true!

But I also faced a secret battle with anxiety as my fear for the future became overwhelming. This inspired my second post: There is enough.

March:

This month I learned the importance of slowing down for the first time. I realised that for my three years at university I had been rushing, straining and striving which was no good for me.

I took comfort in the familiar motions of being in my kitchen which is why I wrote: I’m not in a hurry.

I went to a leader’s retreat for church and as I watched the most glorious sunset I began formulating the words for my post: fighting the fear of missing out.

But March also saw me truly wrestling with my faith for the first time. I lost sight of who God is and how He fits into my life but just as quickly as I abandoned Him, I found Him again. Which lead me to write: beauty for ashes.

April:

In every spare moment I had, I began to write. In the hour before work, in the silences between serving customers, in the evenings after dinner.

I discovered that once I released myself from the “lifestyle blogging” box I was free to write with abandon. To dig deeper, to push myself harder, to reveal more than ever before.

And after watching and falling in love with the movie ‘La La Land’ I wrote: Here’s to the ones who dream.

I also went to talk on the enneagram. Learnt I am a four. And got punched in the gut with the things my type does badly. For instance, constantly longing for the future instead of enjoying the present. Cue blog post: living in the now and the endless longing for the not yet.

May:

As my friendships changed after college I found myself craving community. So I got more involved at church and more invested in my relationships.

A volunteer at the charity store was telling me about a quilt that her and her friends were making which inspired the metaphor in the post: Craving community and the cost of real connection.

In May I finally graduated from college which was one of the proudest and happiest moments of my life. But around the same time I unfortunately was replaced at my job which broke my heart and so I wrote: That familiar feeling of a changing season.

My anxiety continued to simmer beneath the surface so I took the very brave step of going to see a counselor. This turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and it inspired the post: Healing from the past; unraveling our stories and struggles.

June:

In the dead of winter we went ice skating and my wobbly legs on the slippery ice encouraged me to write about: The fear and thrill of the fall.

Around this time I was job hunting and managed to get a few interviews but the number of rejections began to get me down. The searching felt endless and so I tried to encourage anyone else in the same boat with the post: Facing up to the fear of rejection.

Then with my self esteem plummeting I did what any sensible person would and picked up a Brene Brown book. Her inspiring message about the power of vulnerability helped my pick myself back up and I wrote: Daring to be vulnerable and my fear of feeling joy.

July:

I was so lost. Jobless and sad, I couldn’t manage to write and so the blog got placed on the back burner in favour of my mental health.

August:

I finally found a new job! Working as a retail assistant in a cafe. I was delighted to work again and keep myself busy but I felt like I wasn’t living up to my potential. So I wrote: Feeling like a failure…when life doesn’t go as planned.

But I also learnt the importance of being myself and I managed to flip that feeling of failure on its head. And I wrote: Authenticity and finding happiness by being myself.

One weekend, I watched the Netflix movie everyone was raving about- ‘To all the boys I’ve loved before’ and I decided to write my own blog post about my past loves: To all the boys I’ve loved before.

And it was this post that prompted me to finally admit (what was probably clear to everyone else) that I was in love again. This time it was mutual!

September:

I’ve struggled with all kinds of insecurities but the very worst one has always been around my weight.

This year I finally began to look my myself in the mirror and actually LIKE what I saw. But nevertheless, the bad days still came and the ugly insecurities still arose. So I wrote about my body positivity struggles in my post: My body, my home.

October:

I started to really enjoy my job and the people I worked with but I still found myself longing for something more. I figured that I spent far too much of my time wishing for another time and place.

And I wrote the post: When wishing for the weekend becomes a way of life.

November:

After being moved to a new store and having to start all over again, I realised that my job was making me totally miserable and I so I finally plucked up the courage to quit!

I worked out my notice and walked out the door without looking back! And I wrote about it: Doing something brave even when it scares you.

December:

After tossing and turning for months, feeling really unsettled and unhappy, I decided that perhaps it was my surroundings that were bringing me down. The big city got too much for me and I packed up all my stuff and moved back home.

But in doing so I was forced to say goodbye to some very important people in my life which is why I wrote: The painful realisation that growing up means saying goodbye.

And lastly as the year came to a close I found that I needed to leave old mindsets in the past and make some space for new things to come. So I wrote about: Minimalism; clearing the clutter and living simply.

Too long didn’t read ( I forgive you!)…

Thanks for supporting my blog this year.

Thank you for every kind comment you’ve left, every like you’ve doted upon me and every minute you’ve taken to read the words I write.

I hope you have had a wonderful holiday season and that your new year will be wonderful.

If you have a second it would mean the world to me if you took my reader survey. Every bit of feedback I get is unbelievably helpful for the future posts I will write. Because ultimately, I write not just for myself, but for you too.

See you next year!

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In Living intentionally

Minimalism: clearing the clutter and living simply

I feel as though I am constantly adding more things into my life.

I’m finding more recipes for the same chocolate chip cookies. I’m buying more pyjamas because they are cute and festive and I couldn’t resist. I’m putting more things on my to-do list because being productive makes me feel less insecure and lost.

More, more, more.

Perhaps it’s because we have this need to fill up empty spaces. We have to colour in every last square, fill every bit of silence and cover every inch of our counter tops.

I think the blank spaces make us uncomfortable.

The empty and quiet feels unsettling. Those places leave room for possibility, a chance for the unknown…and fear hates nothing more than the unknown.

So we fill, fill, fill until we are bursting at the seams.

And the abundance, the overflow, the lack of blank spaces makes us feel safe.

Ever since I noticed this about myself, I have found the concept of minimalism fascinating.

The idea that less could actually be more. That blank spaces, emptiness, and quiet could be the keys to happiness.

And the more I subtract, the more I let go, the more I welcome blank spaces…the happier I find I am becoming.

It’s not just the physical clutter that I’m letting go of, although that certainly helps too. It’s the emotional and mental clutter that I’ve been learning to sweep out my front doorstep and slam the door shut on.

I’m learning to…

Let go of “shoulds”

The ones that I place on myself and the ones that others place upon me.

Like those niggling expectations of what our lives should look like at this point in time.

I should have a real job…

I should go traveling…

I should be saving to buy a house…

Because as Brene Brown so wonderfully puts it, “expectations are resentments waiting to happen.”

There is no formula. There is no exact route or set plan. Your life is up to you. You have the freedom to chose to live it however you like.

Your story may look different to someone else’s but that’s excellent. Because that is what makes us such an interesting, diverse species.

Releasing myself from burden of all the “shoulds” has felt like a weight lifted off me. Instead of spending so much time looking over my shoulder to see how everyone else is doing it, I’m free to just figure things out my way.

Accept things as they are

Realizing that these are the cards we have been dealt. This is the body, the person, the life we have been given and choosing to make the most of it.

Accepting that our shyness might make some people dislike us at first, or our skin might be paler than we would like, or our occupation might be less glamorous than we had hoped for.

Sometimes happiness feels like taking a moment to just appreciate instead of needing to justify.

I don’t always understand why things happen. I don’t always know what I could have done differently or how something can be fixed.

But I do know this: I am where I am. I am who I am. That is all.

Just be present in a moment

Instead of giving into my natural tendency to think ferociously forward to the future.

I’m learning to enjoy the surprises and spontaneity that life throws at us. To just be happy living in the now.

Gazing up in wonder at the starry sky when we had to pull off the highway to fix the car. Stopping to smell a rose as I’m wiping tables down at work. Tasting every bite of the meal that took me hours to prepare.

It feels frustrating when I just want to get to the good bits…but sometimes the good bits are disguised as the boring, the ordinary and the mundane.

Slow myself down

Fighting the urge to match the pace of the hustle that surrounds me.

Enjoying when breakfast stretches long past midday. Laughing at the fact nobody is ever ready to leave the house when we say we need to go. Celebrating when I manage to tick just one thing off my to-do list for the day.

Productivity is sometimes overrated. It can be a crutch we use to keep ourselves occupied so that thinking and feeling are things we can avoid.

Slowing down forces us to sit with our feelings. To be vulnerable and insecure and keep living anyway.

A word that keeps springing to mind at the moment is surrender.

It makes me think of the mighty ocean beating on the shore. Everyone and everything must submit to the great force of the ocean. The severity of the waves, the drag of the tides. There is no place for stubbornness or refusal.

And like a piece of driftwood I feel myself being swept up in the ocean currents, flung this way and that, pushed towards the shore and pulled back again.

I find peace in surrender. I think minimalism is surrender.

Giving up what is easier to hold on to. Letting go when our natural instinct is to cling on tight.

We need to make peace with the blank spaces. We need to welcome the cringey, uncomfortable emptiness.

Living simply, means clearing out the old beliefs that hold us back from our full potential. Finding freedom in the here and now, accepting things as they are and slowing down a bit.

I have come to the conclusion that what I really need to be happy is less. Which is surprising in a world that tells us happiness is more. More money, more friends, more belongings.

But having less means having extra time, extra patience and extra room to grow, explore and create. I need less in order to have more.

So I’m starting to think this minimalism stuff might just be for me after all.

What things do you still need to let go of before the next year begins?

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In Living intentionally

The painful realisation that growing up means saying goodbye

There is this feeling I get.

A dull ache in the pit of my stomach. A tug on my heartstrings. A bittersweet knowing that what once was, can never be again.

I feel it as I’m watching my brother’s face grow smaller in the rearview mirror.

I feel it as I wave wildly out the car window to match my parents equally enthusiastic waves.

I feel it in the hugs, the kisses, and the jokes shared between friends I’ve collected through the years.

It’s the ever-present, always crushing reality of goodbyes.

The fact that no matter what we try to do, we cannot slow down time. We cannot prevent our forward momentum. We are prisoners of time, captive to its sweeping clutches.

And so the ache widens. Numbing my fingertips and prickling tears to my eyes.

But I inhale a little sharper and wipe swiftly at my eyes, because I know this is a feeling I must become familiar with, an ache I must learn to corral.

I hate these sudden realizations that startle us in adulthood.

I had such sweet hopes and a rosy view of what it would be like to grow up and like plunging into icy water, the reality has been shocking to the system.

How could I have known the tears of homesickness that would pour down my cheeks the first night I slept in my dorm room?

How could I have foreseen the way I would miss the ordinary, Saturday morning grocery shopping with mum or standing beside the blazing fireplace in winter with my dad?

How could I have predicted that I would one day become best friends with my vexatious brother and that leaving him would feel like a kick to my gut?

But I know now the truth of adulthood. That goodbyes are endless. That death, loss and grief are inescapable. That loving anything or anyone will eventually leave you aching.

The older we get, the more pieces of ourselves we leave scattered in different places.

A piece curled up in our bedroom back home. A piece with our college roommate, a piece with the friends we met at church, a piece with our first boyfriends and a piece with the ones after that.

And even though I’m moving back home, even though I’m going to be closer to my parents, even though this is what I want, I feel so very sad.

I feels as though I keep moving to new places, digging my roots down and then once again I find myself being torn apart as I am are forced to say goodbye.

It seems that we are never really whole again. We will always be scattered in the places and people who shaped us.

Wherever we go, we leave loved ones behind.

It’s beautiful and tragic.

What a treasure it is to have friends spread out across the world like lighthouses. Beacons of familiarity and safety on our travels abroad.

How happy it makes me to find kindred spirits in my workplace. To feel accepted and find belonging among my colleagues.

And how lovely it is to find friends who feel like family, who become your brothers and sisters, who know and love you for who you are.

I am lucky to be so loved. I am lucky to love so much.

But that doesn’t make the goodbyes any easier.

That doesn’t soften my loss or comfort me in my loneliness.

growing up, moving on, change, adulthood friendships, making friends as an adult, relationships, saying goodbye,

The painful truth is that growing up means saying goodbye.

In this life we will always be shifting through seasons. We will always be in transition. People will always be coming and going; making their mark and subtly changing us.

Somehow, I think I’m getting better at saying goodbye.

Despite the tightness in my chest and the tears flooding the corners of my eyes.

I’ve realised that sometimes a goodbye is necessary for us to grow and evolve as people.

I think I have learnt to hold things and people more loosely than I used to. Not because I’m afraid of getting hurt, but because I know that some people aren’t meant to be in our lives forever.

I used to cling to friendships and potential love interests like they were lifesavers keeping me afloat.

I don’t feel that way anymore. I can do this on my own. I can keep floating without them.

I’m not afraid of the goodbye because I know there will be plenty of hellos to come. Friendships won’t be the same and that stings but I know I won’t be alone.

Relationships don’t define me because I am whole regardless of whether I am the other half of a couple or not.

But for those who are permanent fixtures in our lives, who we put down on our emergency contact list and who own a spare key to our house…

It’s never really goodbye anyway. It’s see you soon or see you later.

I am cheered by the fact our family and long time friends will never really fade into a blurry memory or become lost in the pile of unread mail.

For there are certain people you just never really say goodbye to. Despite years and distance, there is something that always draws you back. A connection that cannot be broken.

So I’m holding tightly to that with every last hug and wave out the car window. The ones who matter most of all aren’t disappearing forever.

It’s not goodbye…it’s see you soon or see you later.