contentment Archives - Megan Hallier

Minimalism: how to be content with what you already have

Most days, scrolling through my Facebook feed feels like stumbling through an inferiority minefield. I have to work really hard at being a good person and being happy for my friends that they have such wonderful lives.

The other day, one of my friends shared a picture of himself at the airport, backpack on, passport in hand, a big smile on his face as he was about to board his plane to Greece.

I kept scrolling and saw another friend sharing a #bumpdate, she’s twenty weeks pregnant and the bump is really starting to show now.

As I scrolled down further, I saw another friend’s cute little coffee date from her weekend away down south.

I breathed out a deep sigh as I gazed down at my sweatpants, the slippers on my feet and the cat on my lap. It is in these moments that my life feels too small and simple. So small it is claustrophobic.

Green is one of my colours, but envy still doesn’t look pretty on me.

As a society, we tend to focus on what we lack. We are constantly receiving these messages that we need MORE to be happy. That what have can’t possibly be enough for us. Marketers play at our weakness, they know how much we love the new and novel.

They tell us that if we truly want to be happy, what we need is another sweater, a bigger TV, and a week-long holiday somewhere exotic.

They are in the business of selling, so they sell us a fairy-tale that MORE STUFF will make our lives better.

However, I’m beginning to realise that if I don’t make a change in my attitude, if I can’t learn how to be happier with a life that is small and simple, I will spend my entire life discontent.

I’ll always be chasing after these things that are supposed to make me happy, only to find out I’m not satisfied once I have them.

The new and the novel don’t satisfy us for very long. Pretty soon the excitement wears off and once again we are left aching for more.

Last week I went on a lovely day trip. We went shopping and walking and soaked in the hot pools. It was a full, busy, wonderful day. I came home feeling tired and content.

And yet, a week later I feel the same itchy, desperate desire to get out and do something interesting. Our outing last week didn’t cure me of my need for adventure and excitement.

Because the truth is, no matter how many countries we travel to, there will always be another we are dying to see. No matter how many books we read, there will always be a new one we just have to read. No matter how many pairs of shoes we own, there will always be THE pair that we believe will finally complete our wardrobe.

There are times when contentment is a necessity and for me, this is one of those times.

Right now I am studying and we are living off one income so we can’t afford much new. No new shoes, no new books, no trips to exotic destinations or flashy electronics.

What I have has to be enough.

But instead of feeling sorry for myself, I am taking this as an opportunity to be content with what I HAVE instead of giving into that endless craving for MORE.

We have a roof over our heads. We have groceries in the fridge and pantry. I have an entire wardrobe stuffed full of clothes and shoes for every imaginable occasion. And I live close to a library with hundreds of books that I am still yet to read.

I have enough. I have plenty. I do not need more.

This is the mantra I am repeating to myself as I avert my eyes walking past sales racks and unsubscribe from shop mailing lists. And when I start to feel that claustrophobic fear that my life is too small, I am reminding myself that I have enough time as well.

There are plenty of years ahead for me to get to live out my dreams. I don’t need to pressure myself to cram it all into this year. I don’t need to accomplish all of my goals right now. There is enough time.

Maybe this won’t be the year… that I travel around Europe, but perhaps I’ll get to explore my hometown and finally conquer some of those more advanced mountain biking trails.

Maybe this won’t be the year… I live in my dream home, but perhaps I’ll get to live in my very own flat for the first time.

Maybe this won’t be the year… I make an 80k salary, but perhaps I’ll finally get to do a job I really enjoy.

Minimalism is teaching me that what I have is enough.

I don’t need more space, I need less stuff.

Less stuff that I picked up at an op shop because it was super cheap and kinda cute. Less stuff that I was given and feel too guilty to give away. Less stuff that I bought trying to be someone that I’m not.

Less stuff distracting me from the beauty and joy that is hidden in the ordinary, dull, normal moments of every day.

I’ll leave you with this quote I found which sums up why I am a fan of the minimalist lifestyle. A simple and small life is enough if it contains more of the things we love and less of the things we don’t.

“Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things that we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it.” – Joshua Becker

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In Living intentionally, Seeking encouragement

How to be happier: finding joy in your ordinary life

Do you ever get that feeling of discontentment with your life? That itchy, scratchy feeling of wanting to GET OUT NOW. Wanting something bigger and better than what you have at the moment.

It’s a wonderful thing to be filled with ambition and to chase after your big dreams. We shouldn’t limit ourselves or be satisfied with living a small, mediocre life.

There is a whole wide world out there of possibilities to explore and places to experience.

A dream for the future isn’t a bad thing.

But if your dream leaves you constantly feeling a little lacklustre then perhaps you need to be reminded of the good in your everyday life.

Hopefully, one day you’ll be able to travel the world, or start your own designer shoe label or own your own home but your life doesn’t start THEN, it starts right NOW.

I’m terrible at living in the now, I spend most of my time longing for the not yet. Waiting for all those hopes and dreams to be fulfilled before I start living fully.

It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking everything will work out once you have x, y or z. We think this way so often. We believe we’ll be happy once we’ve lost weight or moved houses or had a kid.

The thing is, that may or may not be true. And it would be an awful shame to get that thing only to realise that you still aren’t happy.

That’s why we need to learn how to be happier and content with our life right now, exactly as it is.

I know it can be hard to be satisfied with your everyday life because it can feel terribly ordinary and unbelievably dull.

It isn’t glamorous to be sitting behind a desk all day or scrubbing coffee stains off your white shirt that you just washed. But the thing is, for most of us that is what our everyday life looks like.

I think part of the problem is that we get this skewed view of what normal life looks because of what we see on social media. People are always posting glamour shots of their most recent holiday or the party they went to on the weekend and we translate that as their everyday life.

But in reality, nobody is on holiday or partying all the time. Real life is full of boring, mundane moments.

So the trick is finding the good in those moments. Making the most of our everyday. Choosing to live right now instead of waiting for the next big thing.

How to be happier with your life right now

Make every day special

Do you have those things that you store away in cupboards and only bring out on “special occasions?”

I mostly do this with clothes. I have this pair of sparkly, silver shoes which I absolutely adore. My mum calls them my ‘Wizard of Oz’ shoes because they make me look like Dorothy.

But I often stop myself from wearing these shoes because I feel like they might be a little too jazzy for everyday wear.

Isn’t that stupid? I think we need to make every day a special occasion. Every day is a perfect day to wear your favourite sparkly shoes or drink from your best teacups.

Indulge your passions

We all have those things that we are obsessed with (maybe even to an embarrassing extent.) I think it is a shame that we spend so much time trying to fit in and avoid being weird or quirky or interesting.

If you want to know how to be happier with your life, try simply allowing yourself to indulge in your passions. To be as weird or geeky or girly as we please.

To be proud of exactly who we are and to just love what we love without shame.

Let go of ‘shoulds’.

Life can be especially draining if you are stuck doing something you hate just because it is what you believe you “should” be doing.

I think life is too short to live in submission to ‘shoulds’.

I spent three years at university studying science because I thought it was what I should be doing and I was completely miserable.

The sooner you realise you are in charge of your life and can do whatever it is you please, the better!

The only things we should be filling our days with are the things we love.

We shouldn’t go to a concert with our friend just because we feel obliged to. We shouldn’t take the job just because it’s what our parents wanted us to do. We shouldn’t join that yoga class we hate just because we need to exercise more.

Saying NO is okay. Having an opinion is okay. Doing what you think is best for YOU is okay.

Practice gratitude

The greatest way you can learn how to be happier with your life right now is just to start noticing all the good that is already in your life.

When you actually take the time to note down all the little things that make you smile each day you’ll find there is a great deal to be thankful for in your ordinary life.

I’m a big fan of writing my happy-thank-you-more-please notes down in a journal so I can remember them now and look back on them later.

There are always going to be dull moments in our lives. We are always going to have to do boring, maintenance jobs because that is part of being an adult.

But that doesn’t mean our lives have to be ordinary. Your life is what you choose to make it.

Are you going to live a drab, dreary, humdrum life or are you going to choose to be happy today?

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