Browsing Tag:

being present

5 ways to practice being present in the moment

being-present-in-the-moment.jpg

 

There are some people in our lives who are so totally our opposite, it can feel as though the two of us come from different planets. 

 

We have our similarities of course – or we would never have become friends – but I often find it is our differences that bring us together.

 

Just like the old saying goes…Opposites attract. 

 

My boyfriend, Dom, and I are exactly like that.

 

I am a flurry of activity, prepared for every eventuality, constantly thinking about the next step. He is content to remain in the same place, isn’t worried about what’s next, isn’t in a hurry to get anywhere.

 

I am in a hundred places at the same time, whereas he is always present, living in the moment, inherently mindful.

 

These facets of our personalities clash spectacularly as you can imagine. 

 

I am tapping my foot, ready to go, waiting beside the front door. He is simultaneously putting on his shoes, checking the oil in his car and sweeping the kitchen floor. 

 

I am carefully writing out and sticking to a shopping list. He is excitedly stuffing things into the supermarket trolley like a kid in a candy store. 

 

I am making everyone dizzy with all of my plans. He is happily pouring his cereal and opening up the next chapter of his book.

 

How can he be so content just living from moment to moment? Isn’t he worried about the future? Isn’t he concerned about how much milk we have left or whether he remembered to turn the oven off or what he said to that person last week?


 

My frustration is pointing out what I need to fix, not with Dom, but within myself.

 

This desperate need to rush, this constant feeling of needing to get something done, the way I resist being still and captivated in the wonder of moments. 

 

Dom doesn’t need to speed up, I need to slow down. 

 

My laser-focus on tasks, productivity and organisation is causing me to miss the big picture or perhaps, the small picture. All those sweet, silly moments that I’m always bulldozing through in my hurry to stick to my rigid plans.

 

I can feel the time slipping through my fingers like grains of sand in a hourglass. If only I knew how to pause it for a second, to open my eyes to what is right in front of me. 

 

The precious hugs that I hold so briefly before I strain to get back to the vegetables I was chopping.

 

The satiny, morning sun in the living room that I glance over while I’m rushing to make the house perfect before our friends arrive for breakfast. 

 

That warm, cozy feeling of being snuggled in bed that I jump from so that I can tackle my to-do list immediately. 


 

And this constant rushing feeds my anxiety.

 

I am always afraid of what is coming next because I am always thinking about, and living in, tomorrow.

 

What I need, is to start living right here, in today. I need to practice being present in the moment. 

 

being-present.jpg

 

So these are my tips for those of you who come from the same planet as me (the hyper-focused, super-organised, stressed-out one). Let’s try to slow down.

 

5 ways to practice being present in the moment

 

Stop worrying about tomorrow

 

I really need to schedule an appointment to get my wisdom teeth taken out and I have been worrying about it for months.

Almost every day I have been worrying about making the call, paying for the procedure, getting the teeth out and the inevitable pain I will feel afterwards. 

 

But the other day I realised something – I am not getting my wisdom teeth out today – and therefore I do not need to worry about all those things today.

 

Each day has plenty of worries without me adding tomorrows worries too!

 

So this is my question for you: Is the thing you are worrying about happening today?

 

If yes, then it is perfectly acceptable to feel concerned about it.

If not, then remind yourself that today you are safe. You have nothing to worry about today

 

 

Rest in gratitude

 

When something makes me feel especially happy, I enjoy it for approximately one second and then I feel terribly afraid that this thing is going to be taken away from me.

 

I call this self-sabotage, Brene Brown calls it ‘foreboding joy.

A way of protecting ourselves from the worse-case-scenario by playing it out in our heads. And according to Brene, the antidote to this miserable way of thinking, is gratitude. Daring to be vulnerable and choosing to feel the joy over the fear.

 

When you feel that rising panic about something going horribly wrong- give thanks. 

 

 

Notice your joy

 

So often, we don’t allow ourselves to fully enjoy a moment. We cloud our happiness with our pent up anger, sadness and fear.

 

When a moment strikes you as being absolutely delightful, when your chest swells and your laughter rings out, take a second to soak in that joy.

 

Notice how it makes you feel. Stay here awhile instead of rushing off to do the next thing. 

 

5 ways to practice mindfulness and being present in the moment. As someone who tends to rush from one thing to the next I need to consciously choose to slow down and rest. Being present has helped me feel less anxious and much happier. I hope these 5 tips will help you too!

 

Be intentional on social media

 

It can be all too easy to use social media as an escape. A chance to numb ourselves and avoid whatever is going on in our real lives.

 

We can sometimes let hours slip by as we scroll mindlessly through our newsfeed, without even stopping to notice or connect with anyone else.

 

Try to be intentional when you are online. Use those apps to actually connect with people. Leave thoughtful comments, share something you found valuable, add to the community rather than skimming over the posts you see. 

 

 

Focus on one thing at a time

 

We like to think that if we do two things at once we are being more efficient but in reality, we are more likely just doing a bad job of two things instead of a good job of one.

 

I am not a fan of multi-tasking. I say focus on one thing and give it your full attention.

 

When I am driving, I can’t also be texting (mostly because that’s illegal but also because it is distracting.)

When I am talking to someone, I can’t also be editing a photo for Instagram.

When I am studying, I can’t also be on Facebook (although, if I am honest, I never really adhere to this.)

 

You just can’t be in two places at once. Be all here.


 

You know I am glad that we aren’t all the same. The world needs both of us. People to make things happen, to plan ahead, to get the job done today. And people to encourage us to rest, to keep us grounded, to remind us of the importance of being present in the moment.

How to be happier: finding joy in your ordinary life

how-to-be-happier.jpg

 

Do you ever get that feeling of discontentment with your life? That itchy, scratchy feeling of wanting to GET OUT NOW. Wanting something bigger and better than what you have at the moment. 

 

It’s a wonderful thing to be filled with ambition and to chase after your big dreams. We shouldn’t limit ourselves or be satisfied with living a small, mediocre life. 

 

There is a whole wide world out there of possibilities to explore and places to experience. 

 

A dream for the future isn’t a bad thing.

 

But if your dream leaves you constantly feeling a little lacklustre then perhaps you need to be reminded of the good in your everyday life. 

 

Hopefully, one day you’ll be able to travel the world, or start your own designer shoe label or own your own home but your life doesn’t start THEN, it starts right NOW

 

I’m terrible at living in the now, I spend most of my time longing for the not yet. Waiting for all those hopes and dreams to be fulfilled before I start living fully. 

 

It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking everything will work out once you have x, y or z. We think this way so often. We believe we’ll be happy once we’ve lost weight or moved houses or had a kid.

 

The thing is, that may or may not be true. And it would be an awful shame to get that thing only to realise that you still aren’t happy.

 

That’s why we need to learn how to be happier and content with our life right now, exactly as it is.

 

how to be content with your ordinary life, finding contentment, being present, mindfulness, living in the now, simple living, love your life, how to be happy now, happiness tips, live slow, living intentionally, how to be happier

 

I know it can be hard to be satisfied with your everyday life because it can feel terribly ordinary and unbelievably dull.

 

It isn’t glamorous to be sitting behind a desk all day or scrubbing coffee stains off your white shirt that you just washed. But the thing is, for most of us that is what our everyday life looks like. 

 

I think part of the problem is that we get this skewed view of what normal life looks because of what we see on social media. People are always posting glamour shots of their most recent holiday or the party they went to on the weekend and we translate that as their everyday life. 

 

But in reality, nobody is on holiday or partying all the time. Real life is full of boring, mundane moments. 

 

So the trick is finding the good in those moments. Making the most of our everyday. Choosing to live right now instead of waiting for the next big thing.  

 

 

How to be happier with your life right now

 

Make every day special

 

Do you have those things that you store away in cupboards and only bring out on “special occasions?

 

I mostly do this with clothes. I have this pair of sparkly, silver shoes which I absolutely adore. My mum calls them my ‘Wizard of Oz’ shoes because they make me look like Dorothy.

 

But I often stop myself from wearing these shoes because I feel like they might be a little too jazzy for everyday wear.

 

Isn’t that stupid? I think we need to make every day a special occasion. Every day is a perfect day to wear your favourite sparkly shoes or drink from your best teacups.

 

how-to-be-happier-quote

 

Indulge your passions

 

We all have those things that we are obsessed with (maybe even to an embarrassing extent.) I think it is a shame that we spend so much time trying to fit in and avoid being weird or quirky or interesting.

 

If you want to know how to be happier with your life, try simply allowing yourself to indulge in your passions. To be as weird or geeky or girly as we please.

 

To be proud of exactly who we are and to just love what we love without shame.

 

Let go of ‘shoulds’. 

 

Life can be especially draining if you are stuck doing something you hate just because it is what you believe you “should” be doing.

 

I think life is too short to live in submission to ‘shoulds’. 

 

I spent three years at university studying science because I thought it was what I should be doing and I was completely miserable.

The sooner you realise you are in charge of your life and can do whatever it is you please, the better!

 

The only things we should be filling our days with are the things we love.

We shouldn’t go to a concert with our friend just because we feel obliged to. We shouldn’t take the job just because it’s what our parents wanted us to do. We shouldn’t join that yoga class we hate just because we need to exercise more.

 

Saying NO is okay. Having an opinion is okay. Doing what you think is best for YOU is okay.

 

Practice gratitude

 

The greatest way you can learn how to be happier with your life right now is just to start noticing all the good that is already in your life.

 

When you actually take the time to note down all the little things that make you smile each day you’ll find there is a great deal to be thankful for in your ordinary life.

 

I’m a big fan of writing my happy-thank-you-more-please notes down in a journal so I can remember them now and look back on them later.

 

 

There are always going to be dull moments in our lives. We are always going to have to do boring, maintenance jobs because that is part of being an adult.

 

But that doesn’t mean our lives have to be ordinary. Your life is what you choose to make it.

 

Are you going to live a drab, dreary, humdrum life or are you going to choose to be happy today?

Mindful eating: 5 simple ways to be present while you eat

mindful-eating.jpg

 

Food plays such an important role in our lives. It is our source of life. It is what sustains us, helps to heal us and is the very building blocks our cells are made of. 

 

Food is what we plan and divide our days by. Food is a place of connection for us, a link to the past and a way of breaking down the barriers that languages and social conventions create.

 

As a nutritionist, I see food as a fuel source but as a poet, I see it as a thread that runs throughout our lives, rippling and twisting as it enriches and nourishes us.

 

 

Food is so intertwined with our everyday lives that over time we can forget its significance and true joy. Eating is something we do at least three times a day and yet, a lot of us seem to struggle with it.

 

Most of us are very good at eating, but what we aren’t so good at is mindful eating.  

 

We eat meals on the go. We shovel our food down to get the next thing done. We eat in front of the TV, at the kitchen bench as we scroll through our phone, and at our desks while we continue to do our work.  
 
 
It’s no surprise then that we feel hungry often, terribly sluggish and crave unhealthy foods to satisfy our appetites.

 

Most of us have forgotten the way our ancestors lived.

 

The way they spent their days scouring the land looking for their next meal. The way they gathered together and pooled their resources. The way they cooked over an open fire and ate in the flickering glow of its warmth.

How they sang songs and told stories and stayed beside that fire long after their meal was finished. 

 

Nowadays, we are always in a hurry, our lives leave no room for such frivolity.



I think we need to make mealtimes an event again.  

 

We need to return to that place of respect and appreciation for our food. We need to just slow down and enjoy life instead of always rushing on to the next thing. We need to make eating about more than just getting fuel.  


 

Mindful eating is a celebration of food. An act of  gratitude, an attempt at forging a connection and a search for deeper satisfaction.

 

It’s about being present while we eat for the sake of our health, our relationships and our general well-being.

 

mindful eating, how to eat mindfully, how to practice mindful eating, intentional eating, intuitive eating, being present, living intentionally, mindfulness, practicing mindfulness, simple living, minimalism

  

5 simple ways to practice mindful eating

 

Eat with others

 

When we have meals with other people we are more likely to make a bigger effort with our food and not just butter some toast and call it dinner. 

 

We tend to take time to prepare something special or at least something that resembles a full meal when we have company.

 

And we also tend to take our time eating the meal. Conversations meander, glasses are clinked together, stories are shared and laughter flows.

This coming together over a meal leaves us feeling not only satisfied with the food on our plates but also with the wonderful relationships we have in our lives.
 

 

Eat slowly

 

Take the time to appreciate what you are eating. Put down your fork between mouthfuls and chew your food more. 

 

When we eat slowly, we will often feel fuller sooner and therefore, consume less overall. Something I’ve learnt is that I am generally full long before I stop eating. If you were raised to finish whatever is on your plate then you might keep eating even past the point of feeling full. 

 

Eating slowly and chewing your food properly allows your body to digest the food easier and helps you to finish eating when you have had enough.

 

Eat without distractions.

 

Put your phone away. Turn the TV off. Stop reading the newspaper. 

 

Instead, try lighting a candle, turning on some soft music and focusing on just enjoying your meal. One of the best ways to be present while eating is to actually BE present rather than distracted by social media or the daily news.

 

An upside to this is that you’ll probably find your food more appealing and more satisfying if you’ve actually been present while eating it. 

 

Eat good food

 

Try to eat more fruit and vegetables. Try to eat more food that is fresh, whole and as unprocessed as possible. 

 

Make an effort with the meals you prepare. Mix it up and try new recipes, cook every recipe in single cookbook, try a cooking challenge. Make your mealtimes more exciting and pleasurable by widening your cooking horizons.

 

Buy good quality food if you can afford it. Shop at local farmer’s markets and make friends with the people who actually care about the produce they are selling. 

 

Say grace before meals

 

My dad has a grace he learnt at boarding school and he recited it every single dinnertime growing up. I know it word for word and although at the time it felt like an annoying impediment between me and the food before me, now I can appreciate its value. 

 

Even if you aren’t religious saying grace is a lovely practice. It’s as simple as taking a moment to appreciate everyone who took part in producing the food on your plate. Expressing gratitude for their hard work, the precious resources that went into making your meal and the blessing it is that we have food to eat.

 

 

The truth is, with our modern lifestyles we can be a bit hopeless when it comes to mindful eating. 

 

We need to get better at slowing down and making our mealtimes special again. Whether that be trying a new recipe, lighting a candle or inviting friends over to join us. 

 

Food is about more than just fuel. It’s a celebration of friendship, culture and satisfaction.


 

If you are looking for more ways to incorporate mindfulness into your everyday life, then check out my 7 days of mindful living challenge.

If you want to add more rest, contentment and satisfaction into your life then this is where you should start. In just a week you’ll learn 7 different areas where mindfulness and intentional living can change your life. 

 

Mindful eating is just the beginning!

Do you struggle with mindful eating?

Being present in a distraction-filled world

I have always wanted to be one of those carefree, spontaneous people who lives in the moment. The kind of person who adroitly bounds from one adventure to the next. Who is thrilled with change, delighted with surprises, focused solely on the here and now.

 

That will never be me.

 

I have to fight for the here and now.

I have to wrestle with myself to stay grounded in the present.

 

Because introverts have this whole other world inside their heads. We wander up there frequently without anyone noticing and spend hours getting lost in our swirling thoughts and alluring dreams.

 

In my head I have this dream of myself in the future.

I’m sitting on a wooden swing beneath a grand oak tree in my garden. Bluebells and daffodils brim over in my planter boxes. The grass has been freshly mowed and the clippings lay in messy clumps all over the lawn.

We live in this perfect, old villa with rocking chairs on the front porch and hanging baskets swinging from the awning. Our mailbox has a blue roof and our fence is white and picket.

In summer I’m always out in the garden, watering can in hand, tending to my plants. 

In autumn I sit on the porch sipping apple cinnamon-spiced tea and watching the leaves pile up in the front yard. 

 

I can get lost in this daydream and lose all sense of time.


 

See, I have a heart that is spurred on by expectation. It beats a rhythm of longing. Constantly demanding more, never satisfied with what it has.

 

I am forever at war with myself.

 

I must fight for this moment. This one right here. Sitting at my kitchen table in my dressing gown, sipping coffee. I must force myself to meander back down outside of my head and become absorbed fully in appreciating the present.

 

And I’m not the only one.

 

Our modern lives are so cluttered with distractions.

 

Billboards on every corner, notifications from every app, adverts after every second song. Multitasking has become our second nature, we don’t know how to do just the one thing anymore.

 

While eating our breakfast, we are scrolling through our emails. While walking we are listening to podcasts. While having conversations we are having entirely different ones on our phones.

 

But I miss the eye contact. The face to face conversations. The careful, handwritten letters slipped into my mailbox.

 

Everything these days is so instant and hurried. I hardly ever feel seen or understood, nobody has the time.

 

Even when we are in one place, we wish we were in another. We watch the sunset through the lens of our cameras, we live our lives to upload on our Instastories, we’ve made a sport out of collecting memories and flashing them around for everyone else to see. 

 

It feels so fake, so inauthentic, so exhausting to maintain.

 

Putting my phone down feels like a breath of fresh air. Now I hardly post on social media, it feels like I’m coming home, back to the real me. Without the pressure of a billion eyes watching me, I am free to actually live. 

 

being present in a distraction filled world, living intentionally, living in the moment, slowing down, self care, the fear of missing out, social media break, rest,

 

What I need, what we all need really, is a new pace. A slower, more deliberate way of living. An awareness of the buzz, the hustle, the impatience. A return to simpler times which were perhaps not so foolish after all.

 

It saddens me to think that some of the old, slower ways of doing things will soon be lost due to our impatience.

 

I hope my kids get to experience the joy of opening up their mailbox and finding a package waiting for them.

I hope they get the chance to trawl around a hundred different shops looking for the perfect gift rather than sitting at home filling up their online shopping cart.

I hope they will know the feeling of the worn-out pages of a much-loved paperback.

I hope they will take delight in digging up carrots from their own garden rather than reaching for plastic wrapped, pre-washed vegetables in the supermarket.

 

There is something to be said for the ease and convenience of our everyday lives, but still I hope that my children will make time for a little inconvenience.

 

Because I have found that the best conversations happen when we’ve both left our phones in our purses. The most pleasure I’ve taken from a kind note was one written out by hand and delivered to me personally. The best lemon muffin recipe I have ever found was shared with me by a friend of a friend.

 

Being present is recognizing that the here and now moments are what matter the most.

 

It’s fighting the urge to move on to the next thing while you are still doing the first. It’s saying grace before a meal, giving thanks for the one who prepared it. It’s noticing the colours of the leaves as you are walking to work. It’s falling asleep to the gentle hum of crickets outside your bedroom window.

 

Being present is choosing to let go of the past and refusing to be afraid of the future. 

 

So here’s to slowing down, finding moments of solitude in a distraction-filled world and doing our very best to enjoy the here and now.

 

There is not a whole lot in our lives that we have control over but this one thing is ours to protect. We have the choice every day to fall in love with life.

Living in the now and the endless longing for the not yet

living-in-the-now

 

Blonde curls bounce as she runs. Squealing she dashes through the park. Little toddler legs scooting as fast as they can. A flash of pink. A blur of joy.

She zigs and zags through the clusters of people. Early-morning dog walkers and men on bicycles with neon vests. She is unaware of the scene she is causing, she is focused on getting away before her father catches up to her.

And he’s getting closer. Thundering with big, lanky strides behind her. She makes several narrow escapes and then finally he reaches out and sweeps her effortlessly into his arms.

They swing around together. This mass of pink frills and blue checks. The sweetest sight.


 

My heart feels like it might burst.

I’m surprised by the physical ache. This little, hollow gap which signifies an unfulfilled dream. A longing that lies dormant, bubbling deep beneath the surface. Knocking the wind out of me when I least expect it.

 

I think that’s the way dreams tend to be. They aren’t always obvious right from the start. We don’t all grow up with the knowledge of who we are or what we want to be.

For some of us our dreams take a long time to wiggle their way to the surface. It’s a slow process but eventually these deep desires begin to bloom and once they do…we are never really the same.

 

Once we know the ache, we wrestle with discontentment.

Once we’ve found something to pursue, we cannot sit still.

 

I’ve always been a writer but I didn’t believe it. I’ve always been someone’s partner but I just haven’t found them. I’ve always been a mother but I don’t have a kid yet.

And now I know what they are, I’m so eager to reach out and snatch up each of these dreams.

 

But I’m grasping at thin air. With every prayer the answer comes back clear. Not now, not yet.  

 

My faith gets a little shaky and my heart gets a little heavy. God, If you created me with these desires why are you keeping them from me?

 

Because timing is everything.


 

The last thing I want to do is be patronizing because I know how this feels.

 

I understand the lonely road you are travelling. I see the tears that slip down your cheeks when you think nobody is watching. I know that heavy weight of expectation which rests on your shoulders making you see every day in monochrome instead of technicolour.

 

In these times I have come to recognize that the sweetest gift a person can give is empathy. Not your condescending, sympathetic advice or your most well-meaning inspirational quote.

 

The kindest medicine for a heart in longing is to simply acknowledge its’ suffering.

 

To come alongside me, rest your head on my shoulder, to take my hand in yours and let me know that you understand.

 

I recognize that this wrestle with contentment is not one I will win by force. I cannot take what I feel is rightfully mine. I must be patient.

 

Resting in the now and respecting the not yet.

 

living in the now, being present, faith, trusting God, longing for more, contentment, being content, pursuit of happiness, gratitude, grace

 

All of us are searching for our missing pieces, scrambling around to slot the edges together, trying to make sense of this jigsaw puzzle. Our hearts hammer as we fit together more and more, the picture becoming clearer and clearer. 

 

But this feeling is bittersweet. The more pieces we add, the less we have remaining, like sand slipping through an hourglass.

 

We have to take the time to observe each section, marveling at the intricate details, delighting in the infuriating complexities.

 

I understand now that this time is precious. All I have is now. So while I’m dreaming, hoping and longing for more, I’m watching my life slipping through that hourglass…drip…drip…drip.

 

If I’m not careful my twenties will have passed me by and I’ll have nothing but bitter regret to show for it.


 

So this lesson is absolutely necessary for us to learn. All of us. Because I know you feel it too. You want to skip to the next chapter, get to the good bits.

You want to be at the top of the corporate ladder, you want the wedding band on your finger, you want the stamps in your passport.  

 

Who of us are really content? Who of us are perfectly happy living in the now? Who of us haven’t thought of the not yet?

 

I think the longing will always be there. God in His infinite wisdom created me this way. A big gaping heart, eager for love, belonging, family. The feeling isn’t packing up it’s bags and shipping out any time soon. But when I look around I can see all the ways he has provided for me in this place.

 

My daily bread is texts from my mum, hugs from my flatmate, coffee with my cousin, cuddling my pastor’s baby, playing soccer with the neighbour’s kids, sitting side by side with friends at church.

 

It’s not the feast I want, but it’s the food I desperately need. The nutrients that will sustain me.

 

That’s the way grace is, always sufficient to meet us where we are. If He is saying not now, not yet, then I have to trust that He knows what’s best for me.

I keep my hands outstretched with abandon, giving thanks for his faithfulness thus far and eagerly anticipating his goodness in the future.


 

I’m learning the art of patience.

Because what they say is true…good things take time.

The best things happen when we aren’t looking for them.

And it’s not always about arriving at your destination, it’s the journey that actually counts.

So in those moments of frustration, I’m learning to laugh.

In the midst of disappointment, I’m learning to dance.

This is the beauty of life…the tension between the now and the not yet.

 

Fighting the fear of missing out

fighting-the-fear-of-missing-out

A few weeks ago I was fortunate to be out at the beach just as the sun was setting.

It was one of those lazy summer evenings where you are gathered around the table for hours after you’ve finished eating. Settling into the dusk and drinking in the buoyant conversation.

 

Most days the sunset is blocked by trees, hills and buildings but this particular evening we were out West with nothing but sand stretching before us. Our view was unobstructed and as we chatted away, we noticed the faint whispers of clouds suddenly flecked with sunlight.

 

We quickly raced up the hill to get a better view. But as we pulled the car into the lookout spot, the sun dipped behind clouds. We grumbled and were about to give up on the sunset but we figured we might as well stay just in case something happened.

 

The sun remained encased in clouds for a few more minutes and the coolness of the night seeped over us. But then all of a sudden, the sky was illuminated. Pink, orange, gold. Streams of blazing colour flooded the scene before us. Ocean and sky became one.

A painting streaked and blended with the utmost precision.

 

We got out our pathetic, little phone cameras and tried to capture the perfection. It didn’t seem to matter what angle I stood at or how much I decreased the exposure…the image was a poor representation of the magnificent spectacle we were witnessing.

 

As the final glow of sunlight faded into the night, I felt incredibly grateful and honored to have seen it with my own eyes.

And the overwhelming emotion I felt was relief. How lucky it was that my camera was unable to capture this perfect moment. It meant I couldn’t share it with anyone else, this experience, this brief reverie was all mine.


 

Recently, I’ve felt stretched between too many things, people and places. This need to participate in everything has drained me completely.

 

No matter where I am, I’m missing something else.  

 

If I go to one party, I have to skip another. If I talk to one friend, I don’t get to chat with another. If I say yes to one offer, another one will surely come along.

 

I want to be everywhere. I want to see everyone. I want to do it all.

 

But I can’t… and so I’m forced to make a choice. To prioritize what matters most. To be decisive for once in my life. To commit and stick with it.  And sometimes I don’t like making the choice.

 

Because sometimes duty requires me to be somewhere regardless of what my heart compels me to do. That feels especially unfair. It’s that prickling on the back of the neck I remember feeling every time my mum would ask me to help with chores. But I don’t want to…


 

If I was looking to slap a label on it, I’d say I’m suffering from the fear of missing out.

A fear that tells me that other people are having more fun.

 

I’m inadequate, my time is scarce, my friendships are insufficient. It’s a fear that breeds discontentment. Snuffing out joy and leaving an echo of emptiness. 


 

It seems to me that the cure for the fear of missing out is being fully present.

 

Soaking in the sunset, feeling the rain as it batters down on your umbrella, looking the person who you are talking to directly in the eye.

 

Because our world overlooks these things. It tells us we should always be on the search for something better. We should be selfishly seeking the next adventure and when we find it, we should post all about it.

 

We are trapped by this terrible pitfall of seeking validation and approval. Of needing to be where the party is, needing to participate in the action. Needing to obtain maximum pleasure for our greedy hearts. 

It’s such a hollow way of living. It’s superficial, flaky and unsatisfying.

 

Fighting the fear of missing out is a daily battle.

 

That need to share everything with the world. ‘Hey, look at me, look how great my life is.’  

Fight that urge.  

Be selfish with moments.  

Put down your cell phone and watch the sunset with your own eyes.  

 

It’s a beautiful thing that cameras, lenses and smartphones can’t capture some things. Rainbows, beach sunsets, birthday wishes, falling in love…because that’s the way it should be.

Some things are meant to be experienced.  To be felt rather than just seen.

 

the fear of missing out, fear, faith, self care, being present, life

 

Fighting the fear of missing out means we have to immerse ourselves in the moment. Wherever you are, be all there.

Stop scrolling, sharing and feeling like your situation is lacking. 

 

We can’t be everywhere, but we can be right here. Right now, in this moment.

 

We have to make a choice to be fully present. Because there will always be somewhere flashier you could be. There will always be someone funnier you could be talking to. But chasing those things will only leave you feeling empty.

 

We find contentment when we recognize how precious, beautiful and fleeting the moment we are in really is.

 

Take delight in the intricate, seemingly mundane details…because my friend, this is your life. Don’t blink twice or you’ll miss it.

 

Funnily enough, the fear of missing out is a self fulfilling prophecy. If you’re so afraid of missing out that you try to do it all, see it all and be it all…missing out is exactly what you’ll do.

 

So instead, let’s live intentionally. Wherever we are, let’s be all there.